My most blessed 53rd birthday

Posted: May 5, 2012 by RickThomasNet in Rick

I awoke Saturday morning with my son pressing his loving self into my bubble.

Big brown eyes. Innocent face. Nose to nose.

Good morning!

What a wonderful sight and feeling to experience.

He made me a card.

It was of a person on a bicycle.

He put a sticker on it that said, “Happy Birthday.”

What an inspiring way to begin your special day.

I roused myself out of bed. We got our stuff packed in the van and off we went for our birthday biking adventure. We attacked the 20-mile Swamp Rabbit Trail, which was our first biking excursion of the year.

We made it to Travelers Rest (TR), SC by 1PM. After pumping 10 tires–whoosh, and getting our water bottles and snacks configured, we were ready to set sail toward Greenville.

My 6-year old daughter had two wrecks, but persevered. She does not know how to stop her bike. The first wreck was when a lady got too close to her and my daughter overreacted.

This lady, named Emily, was so excited to see me. She said something like, “Oh my…you’re Dennis. How are you?” Awkward. I have no clue who Dennis is and was saddened to know there is another person in the world with my face.

She ran into the second lady. It was a tight spot and my daughter did not know how to navigate around her. The lady was quite nice and apologetic and we were too. I was hoping for better favor on the trip back.

We made the almost 10 mile trek in no time at all. When we hit our destination, the kids were ready to play in the Reedy River. It was refreshing after the long hot ride from TR. We ate a little, nibbled a little, and downed a lot of water.

I got Lucia her favorite Frap from Starbucks. I had the passion tea. It wasn’t southern, but anything cold and kinda sweet was a relief. It was Happy Hour at Starbucks. All Fraps were half price. Coolness.

We eventually moseyed back to TR. Going back was hard. (Our bottoms were not hard, which was a problem.) The seats were tough on all of us–all but my son. He did great.

My legs were nearly shot. I’m out of shape. I have been mostly flat on my back the past 10 weeks with the worst back problems of my 40-year history of back problems. (That’s another story.)

Mercifully, the Father gave me much grace and it was amazingly okay to do what we did. I hardly hurt except for my rear end.

We made it back to TR around 6:30PM to begin our “food adventure.” Lucia gave me an envelope full of free coupons for my birthday. That was super awesome. More on that later.

Tristen sewed me a small pillow for my back. This was wonderfully kind, thoughtful, and very practical. I drove home with it pushing my lower back out from the seat. It felt relieving. I’m going to keep it in the van so I can use it everyday. She made it out of worn out blue jeans.

Ansa gave me a card that had a personally crafted wheel on it. (See picture above.) You spin the wheel and a word appears through the cut-out, e.g. kind, loving, fun, caring, and so forth. It was perfectly edifying. My son gave me the aforementioned card with the bicycle on it.

The “Food Adventure”

We figured out which coupons we could use and began hitting the various restaurants. We went to McDonald’s, Chick-fil-A, TCBY, Red Robin, and Moe’s. We had to stop after that. We could not eat any more. Here’s the list of what we got for nothing:

  • Two chocolate milks from Mickey D’s
  • One apple juice from Mickey D’s
  • One hamburger from Mickey D’s
  • One chargrilled sandwich from Chick-fil-A
  • One regular sandwich from Chick-fil-A
  • One very large tea from Chick-fil-A
  • One very large Sprite from Chick-fil-A
  • A cup of white, chocolate moose from TCBY (Gave this to the kids.)
  • One humungously large Whiskey River onion ladened hamburger from Red Robin (1,119 calories)
  • One amazing amount of french fries from Red Robin
  • One homewrecker from Moe’s (had to bring that sucker home and put in the fridge. I wasn’t man enough to wolf it down.)
  • A big bag of chips from Moe’s

I was planing to head over to IHOP to get my free tootie fruity pancake stack, but my stomach was groaning and the Spirit was convicting. (For the record, my children ate most of these things.)

We would stop, get the food, and go to the next place. It was kinda like a motorized five-course-meal with the dessert tossed into the middle of it–a hit and run. We were not interested in Emily Post’s rules of etiquette.

Our primary interests were saving gas, saving time, seeing how much food we could get for nothing, and the main thing: make a lot of memories.

Geography and common sense ruled out the what, when, and the how of eating. Of course, the kids did not take issue with eating dessert in-between the main courses.

One of the cool things was that we had time to digest the food while heading to the next place. We also planned stops at Rita’s Ice and Texas Roadhouse, but Rita would not take our coupon and the Roadhouse required the purchase of an entrée with the free birthday appetizer.

Five restaurants. Two hours. Lots of laughing, sharing, and a couple of belches. It was a memorable and unforgettable time. That’s what we did on my birthday.

What do you want?

My children ask me each year what I want for my birthday. Every year I tell them some version of the same thing. I’m like Paul in the sense of what he communicated in Philippians 4:19.

God has most assuredly supplied all I need through Jesus Christ my Lord. My only request, the version they always get, is a paraphrase of what John told us in his third letter:

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. – 3 John 4 (ESV)

My family has generously given me all sorts of things throughout the years. Most of those gifts have been forgotten or broken or both. But there is one gift I regularly long for and I think about it all the time: do they love Jesus and others more than anything else (Matthew 22:36-40)?

That is all I want from my wife and my children. If they can give me these two gifts, then I will be satisfied. All the other gifts, though I appreciate, will rust and vanish. Their living out the love of God toward God and others is the height of other-centered generosity.

Each year I do think about gifts for my birthday. I think that is normal. And each year I ask my wife not to get me anything. Sometimes they will buy me something. Sometimes they don’t.

This year the gifts they gave me were probably four of the best they have ever given me. They were not store-bought. They were handmade. They came from the hearts of my wife and my children.

I had the joy of opening each one, knowing I was opening part of who they are as my friends. Before each gift was opened, I saw their smiles and perceived their anticipation. They anticipated me being blessed. It was a brief but beautiful thing to enjoy each one of them in that moment.

It’s about the relationship

But the best gift of all was them giving me 12 uninterrupted hours with my family. That was priceless. They could have bought me something from the store. I could have opened it. I would have said, “Thank you.” They would have gone out to play. I would have been left with my gifts.

They chose not to do that to me. They gave me themselves–for a whole day. We rode hard. We played hard. We fell hard. We laughed nearly the whole time. Tristen, Haydn, and I shot into a parking garage and rode up a car ramp.

My son practiced leading our family down the Swamp Rabbit Trail–he took the point. He stopped at each crossing, jumped off his bike, and caught his little sister’s bike–the only way she could stop.

My oldest daughter spread her usual cheer and creativity through the family. She finds joy in everything. God has given her a gift to make much joy out of the simplest and most overlooked things.

My youngest daughter fell twice, but winced very little. She was up for a big mission and hardly complained–though I pushed her through a bush. After we crossed the various roads I would shove her, to get her started again. My last shove had a bad trajectory and she split a bush, promptly stepped off the bike, and maintained composure.

My wife? She is Christ to me. She is the stabilizing force in the family. She plans and perseveres. She is my reminder of the Holy Spirit–never drawing attention to herself, but always serving others.

This is what my birthday gift looked like–unwrapped and presented. This is what I received from my best friends. It was a beautiful day. On top of that, the Father gently reminded me about my priorities, wants, and cravings.

He reminded me that I have everything a man could ever want. He reminded me of His faithfulness, love, and mercy. He let me experience my family through His eyes. I saw a glimpse of what He sees and experiences. It’s not about the gifts, but about enjoying each other.

The gift of the Giver?

  • What is it I want most of all?
  • Do I want Christ or what Christ can give me?
  • What do I really cherish?
  • Does Christ + Nothing really = Everything?

In some sense Christ’s gifts and Christ the Person are inseparable. You can’t have Christ without Him giving you the gift of salvation. It’s the gift that opens the door to the best thing of all, which is Himself. The gift becomes a means to a greater end for sure.

The things my family gave me on my birthday were wonderful, but not the main things or even the best things. My birthday, like salvation, was merely a door to the main thing–enjoying a relationship with my family. It was an opportunity for reciprocal enjoyment of each other.

Isn’t that what our life with Christ is all about? It’s about Him and us. We have Him. He has us. It’s not about getting more when we already have all we need. While gifts may have been a nice expression of my family’s love, I received a better expression of their love when they gave me themselves.

It was not about what I received, but about who we were–together, and the pleasure we found in each other. My big day was about them, me, us. We were one on the Swamp Rabbit Trail and we enjoyed each other.

This is analogous to what Christ wants from us. He gave us the gift of salvation so we could enjoy Him. Sometimes I can lose this perspective, while setting my gaze on what He’s giving or what I want or what I’m not getting from Him. What interests you most of all:

  1. A relationship with Christ?
  2. Or what Christ can give you?

I have all I need

Oh, the shallowness of opening presents when that is the extent of our relationship we each other.

Dear Jesus, give me you and with that give me the wisdom and the grace to know that all other things in my life are merely doors to walk through in order to enjoy you more fully. If you choose to give me the gift of suffering, enable me to enjoy you in the suffering. If you choose to give me more desirable gifts, enable me to not lose sight of what is most important. It’s you. I want you most of all.

Today, because of the grace of God, I had the privilege to reexamine my heart regarding my priorities, my gratitude, and my wants. Though I appreciate gifts, the Father reminded me of something deeper and richer. It’s relationship.

I don’t want my eyes more focused on what I’m getting or not getting, but on the One who does the giving and the taking away. It’s not about the gift, but about the Giver. Dear God, change my heart.

The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. – Job 1:1 (ESV)

The Father reminded me of these things through my family. They gave me the greatest gift of all. They gave me themselves. In time, the homemade pillow and the cards will go away. The coupons are already gone.

The memories that were born out of our relationship will never go away. That was Saturday. My son asked me on Sunday if we could go on another “food adventure” on Monday. I’m thinking he liked the gifts, but if you pressed him, he would tell you he enjoyed being with his best friends.

Adventure sleeping

Posted: April 17, 2012 by RickThomasNet in Our Family

Throughout our kid’s first years we have allowed them to do adventure sleeping. Adventure sleeping is when they pick any place in the house to sleep. Last night they slept in the “King’s Chamber,” which is what I told them. They loved it. Tristen slept behind the gliding rocker. Haydn slept 1/2 under the bed. Ansa slept beside the bed.

They enjoyed it and asked if they could do it tonight. They are so much fun. To date they have slept in the dinning room, living room, all over their bedrooms, and in the closets. Their favorite place to sleep has been together in Tristen and Ansa’s bed.

Tristen is 10.5 now and they still enjoy sleeping together. They are rarely apart. It has been one of the many joys of my life to watch them interact with each other. We also have many pictures of them sleeping together. As a parent, you know that a sleeping child is one of the most beautiful things you can look at.

Haydn doing it again

Posted: December 7, 2011 by RickThomasNet in Haydn Stories

The paragraphs below (in blocks) tell a snippet about our most recent trip to the Greenville Christmas Parade. We went there with our good friends, the Crumptons.

We sat on the street, waiting for the parade to come. We had some of the “best seats in the house.” We arrived 90 minutes early to put our chairs out and then went to get something to eat.

Once we got back, we settled in for the parade to show up. Haydn and Ansa were sitting in front of me and Tristen was a few spots over, all three of them sitting on the pavement.

A Target Float came by and some of the walkers were passing out candy canes, good size ones. A lady gave Haydn and Ansa one, but did not see Tristen a few spots away from them.

Without hesitation, Haydn took the candy cane and seamlessly reached out to Tristen and handed his to her, recognizing that he would not get one. The 17-year old son–Charles–of the Crumptons saw what he had done.

His mother sent the following email note to me a couple of days later:

Charles was utterly shocked at Haydn’s reaction with the candy cane. He said, “Mom it was an instant, normal reaction for him to look out for his sisters.”

I responded this way initially:

Okay…i’ll respond later to all of this, but wanted to tell you now that I am crying as I read what you said about my son. It’s my dream that he would love Jesus. He is such a good boy. He is amazing to me. I saw him do that. Thanks for reminding me. I needed to be re-encouraged today. I praise God for Haydn.

And then responded this way the next day:

Thanks again for the email. It was a lot of fun to read what you wrote to Haydn and the girls. He kinda hung his head down, kinda shy about being the center of attention. He is what he is and he does what he does, a total encouragement to me…and Lucia too. We have been blessed because God gave us those three guys.

Down on the Farm

Posted: November 26, 2011 by RickThomasNet in home life
Tags: , ,

Yesterday we went to the Merry Christmas Tree Farm in Central, SC. It’s our family tradition.

We have done this for a number of years now. You can watch the video.

We first began getting our trees from a “neighborhood farm” when we lived in Peppertree.

Tristen was a “babe in arms” when we went out to this man’s home, in a nearby sub-division. He had a smallish house, with a postage stamp backyard.

In his backyard were about 40 trees. That’s where we first began cutting down our own trees. We did that twice at his home. It was great.

Sometime thereafter we heard about the Merry Christmas Tree Farm and began the one hour trek to Central. One year we forgot when they opened and upon arriving found that they were closed.

That year we went to a neighboring farm. Otherwise, we’ve always gone to the Merry Christmas Tree Farm. It’s our favorite place. Usually we go on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. The Clemson vs. South Carolina football game is always blaring through their speakers on the farm.

This year we went on Friday, which was far better–not because of the ballgame blaring. The traffic was not as bad going to Central and it gave us an extra day to trim the tree.

This year was especially special. We bought two trees, one big one for downstairs and a smaller one for the upstairs landing. This is “Haydn’s tree.” He really wanted a small tree for upstairs so he could put his stuffed animals under it.

It looks pretty cool.

I let him pick it out. He covered the farm, looking at hundreds of trees until he found the perfect one. It was quite a ways from our van and the netting machine. I tied a twine string to the trunk and he pulled it all the way to the netting machine. Amazing.

His tree was on the “lower forty,” which meant he had to drag it up a very long hill.

We also made it a party this year. Some of the members from our small group came with us. We all met there at 11:30AM. Each family cut their tree and we took pictures and shot a video. Altogether, we bought five trees as a group–plus one friend of the group came too, and bought a tree.

We had our usual hot chocolate, candy canes, and each kid got a Charlie Brown tree. They have a surplus of Charlie Brown trees on one side of the farm. They give these away. We took ten of them. (See pic above.)

It was a wonderful blast, probably one of the best times we ever had. I already can’t wait until next year when we can go again.

We prayed for the kind folks at the farm that they will sell many trees this year. They are a wonderful family.

And a plus this year: the weather could not have been better. It was between 65 and 70 degrees, a gorgeous foothills of SC weather.

Tree Tip: They also sell Christmas Tree bags. That’s a plus. You don’t want to forget that. We placed our tree in the stand, and then put the tree and stand in the bag.

When we’re done with the tree after Christmas, we pull the bag up around the tree to tote it out of the house. That keeps the dreaded pine needles from getting all over the house.

Mini-stroke, Yellow Jackets, & Chipmunks

Posted: August 24, 2011 by RickThomasNet in Our Family

(An email from Lucia to our small group about her mom having a mini-stroke on Monday evening.)

Thank you all for your messages of support and prayer. I took the kids to my parents house for the afternoon to spend some time with my Mom. Amazingly she shows no signs of a stroke. She is mentally alert and shows no sign of any gaps and physical had no signs that anything had happened.

It is very kind of God for the reminder that either she or my Father could pass away at any time although they are in good health. I am grateful for the time spent with her. Even though it has been an emotional roller coaster for me today and thus tiring, I am grateful for the opportunity to express my love for her and give our kids yet another memory with Grandma.

That memory will be cemented in their minds as both Tristen and Haydn were stung by yellow jackets. Tristen in the knee but Haydn in the lip. Haydn’s lip was probably three times the normal size and he had the cheeks of a chipmunk storing away nuts for the winter! Thankfully they are both doing fine.

So glad we can walk through life together supporting each other in the unexpected events of life as well as the mundane.

Look forward to seeing you Sunday!

Lucia

Days at the lake with friends

Posted: August 7, 2011 by RickThomasNet in Our Family

Last week we went with some friends to Lake Marion, SC. It is east of Columbia, right in the middle of the state. It’s in Clarendon County, which is one of the poorest counties in the state. It looked that way. Lake Marion is a manmade lake. It was hulled out circa WW2. There are still stumps on the lake from way back when.

My friends had a very nice lakefront home. It was spacious and we enjoyed time with them and their kids. They were very generous to us. Per usual, it takes me about a day to unwind. I did and it was great to lounge around and do nothing.

The kids did not get water-logged. I’m not sure why not. They spent more time in the lake than out of it. I think that is a literal statement. They jumped, dove, swam, dug, paddled, fished, and pushed the whole time they were there. At one point I took several of them across the lake in a paddle boat. That was dumb.

About halfway I realized it was a long way, but pride kicked in and I determined I was going to go all the way across that lake. We did and then paddled back. That was a lot of paddling.

Another amazing factoid was that my children could get up without provocation, very early in the morning. Tristen even got up to go “paddle boat fishing” with Hannah, our friend’s oldest child. Their endurance and initiative was amazing. I can’t wait for school to start to see some more of their unprompted willingness.

I broke my bottom

Posted: May 18, 2011 by RickThomasNet in Uncategorized

Haydn said, “Daddy, I think I broke my bottom.”

I said, “I think you did cause there is a crack in it.”

The kids laughed a lot. I love hearing my children laugh and love even more making them laugh. There is something about the laughter of my children that satisfies something deep in my soul. Their laughter communicates contentment to me.

We laugh a lot in our home.

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