In Search Of..

As noted with the Disappointment with God blog there was no change in me that was perceptible. I had tried many things in my short 24 years of living. I smoked pot, drank beer, hung out with “fun” and not so fun people. I planned to make a million by the time I was 30, landed in jail at 15. I went to work when I was 12 and was “self-sufficient” by the time I was 15. I moved out and began living with my grandmother at 15 and was determined to set a course that would make me happy. I was in search of something that was better than what I had.

If asked what it was I was searching for I could not tell you. I just wanted a break, something better, a better life. I was determined, disciplined and had a plan to get to this place, wherever it was. By the time I was saved by God I had a wife, two kids, 3.42 acres of land, a double-wide mobile home, a 24 x 24 concrete floored workshop, a John Deere riding mower and seemingly most anything I wanted or wantd to be. However, I didn’t have a vision. I was living no more than a month or so out as far as a vision. There was no long-term plan. I was stymied. I knew I needed to take a risk in order to be successful, but I had no idea what kind of risk to take. I tried Amway and that didn’t work. I began selling Aloe Vera for Forever Living Products and that didn’t pan out as well.

Inwardly I was unhappy. Even though no one could perceive this, I was inwardly frustrated. I was an angry young man, which others would see from time to time.

As I remember it, it was about March 1985 when I noticed that something was coming over me. I was changing inwardly. It was so inperceptible that I didn’t notice what was happening. I had been saved for about six months. I was initially disappointed because nothing was changing. What I didn’t know was that I was changing. I was changing like a child grows. You can’t see your children growing. You wake up six months later and notice how much they have changed. It was probably six months later when I noticed the thing I had been looking for was happening to me. This was a surprise on two fronts: 1—I didn’t know what I was looking for. 2—The thing I didn’t know I was looking for was coming to me.

What was it? In a word: Peace. For the first time in my life I was experiencing peace in my soul. I was becoming settled, soul-settled. It was an incredible experience. One million dollars was not as important anymore. Being a success was not important. I was expecting them to do what pot didn’t do, what a job couldn’t do. I was expecting money or success to bring me peace. I realized at a relative young age that what I needed was peace and I had found it, or it found me in the person of Jesus Christ.

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About RickThomasNet

Rick Thomas leads a training network for Christians to assist them in becoming more effective soul care providers. RickThomas.Net reaches people around the world through consulting, training, podcasting, writing, counseling, and speaking. In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology, and 1991 he received a BS in Education. In 1993 he was ordained into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s College in Santa Clarita, CA. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). He also received certification from the International Association of Biblical Counselors (IABC). His organization is a training center for IABC.

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