By the time the 11th grade came around I had pretty much settled down. I’m not sure if I was using drugs by this time. If I was then it wasn’t much longer before I quit. The reason I did drugs was not a matter of addiction. It was more about fear of man than being drawn to the drug itself. I would drink and do different drugs because that is what my family did, it was the only crowd I could hang around, seemingly no one else would spend time with me and there was some gratification from getting high. The gratification was not that important. The other liabilities to drugs were weighing much more on me. I quit. It was stupid and certainly not worth it.
I quit drinking, drugging and stopped cursing as well. My hair had peaked out around my shoulder blades. I began cutting it shorter and shorter. These were the elemental steps of self-reformation. It was time to wise-up. I think Robby was in prison by this time. If he was not, he was about to go. Joey may have been in prison by this time as well. He made it into the 12th grade, but went to prison before he could finish. Two brothers in prison, it was not a good sign for me. Gary made it into the 12th grade, but he fell by the wayside as well. It seemed as though the door was locked to graduation. Three brothers had the opportunity and all three of them failed. Gary ended up joining Army. He would say Monroe was a bust. Here we are 30 years later and he would still say something similar. What he still hasn’t got is the problem is in the heart, not our external world. It wasn’t about Monroe; it was (and is) about the heart.
The eleventh grade was uneventful. I do not remember much about it. I can only remember one class and that is vague to me. My life was heading outside of school by this time. I wouldn’t be able to remember the 12th grade if I had not been part of DECA. DECA was related to my work. Otherwise there was not much to retain regarding my school. I was going to turn over a new leaf and anything that didn’t seem worthy to retain I was not going to bother with. School was one of those things I discarded. After 11 years of torture I was ready to walk away. The only regret to this decision is that I have lived to see that better education would have been a good thing for me. I threw the baby out with the bath water. However, at that time I was thinking I didn’t need school and the thing that I excelled at was work and therefore I am going to go out, get a job and become a successful person. Work was my out. Prison took my two oldest brothers and the Army grabbed the third one. Work grabbed me. At the end of the day it did not matter who got us. We were angry kids who were very frustrated and we were looking for an out. I found my out. My approach seemed more respectable, as well as Gary’s approach. At the end of the day we both ended up with dysfunctional families of our own, divorced and starting over one more time 20 or so years later.