The Fallout of Fatherlessness

Below is a quote that came from some reflection with two dads after the Cross Current Meeting on Sunday night. In God’s kind providence I was reading the Ensor book and today I ran across this wonderful and applicable quote. It was a sober reminder of my responsibilities before God. The interesting thing here is that I don’t need a church or friend to tell me these things. God, in his manifold kindness, has given me these instincts intuitively.

From reading his Word, meditating on the meat of it and through prayer as I am empowered by His gracious Spirit these truths are in my soul. Would I have written it this way? No, not in a million years. I’m not that smart. John Ensor is a gift to the Church. Do I know what to do? Yes, most certainly. Though I can’t write like Ensor I have a better advantage. He who saved me lives within me.

I think not the issue is as much about what to do as to whether I will humble myself and get off my lazy rear-end and “get-er done”. Praise be to God that I am a Priest and God is my King. Most certainly he takes care of me and this kind providence from the conversation with those two dads to my Monday devotional reading I have received fresh faith that all is well with my God and he is watching over me and providing for the “chief” of sinners.

Here’s the Ensor quote:

As children approach their teen years, the father becomes the key factor in the moral decisions the teen will make. If the father is home and involved, young daughters will more likely relish his attention and tender affirmation and feel no need to get it elsewhere. If such things are absent, daughters are at higher risk to look for them in another man and to feel a deep need to be in a relationship with a boy—any boy. Young boys without fathers (or with absent fathers) are at higher risk to look for their manhood on the streets, where manhood is proven by way of sex, drugs, crime, and dropping out of school.

The man who hits the sofa and delegates family matters to his wife will immediately sow bitterness in his wife and trouble in his children. The father who is harsh and detached, who is grumpy all the time and easily angered, will raise angry and rebellious children.

Brothers some warnings in Scripture are gender-specific because sin affects manhood in ways that differ from woman-hood. As breadwinners, we are particularly susceptible to come home tired and frustrated and want to withdraw into the mindless cocoon of “boob-tube-ism” or some hobby that makes no demands upon us. But we are warned, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). Deny children your attention and you frustrate them. Deny them your wisdom and insight as they start exploring the world around them, and you frustrate them. Ignore them or cut them off for bothering you, and you frustrate them.

Pp. 157-158: John Ensor Doing Things Right in the Matters of the Heart

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About RickThomasNet

Rick Thomas leads a training network for Christians to assist them in becoming more effective soul care providers. RickThomas.Net reaches people around the world through consulting, training, podcasting, writing, counseling, and speaking. In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology, and 1991 he received a BS in Education. In 1993 he was ordained into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s College in Santa Clarita, CA. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). He also received certification from the International Association of Biblical Counselors (IABC). His organization is a training center for IABC.

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