A Twisted and Surprising Search for Significance

A Twisted and Surprising Search for Significance

Circa 1984 – As noted with the Disappointment with God article, there was no perceptible change in my life after the Lord regenerated me. Prior to salvation, I had tried many things in my short twenty-four years of living. I smoked pot, drank beer, hung out with fun and not so fun people. I planned to make a million dollars by the time I was thirty. I landed in jail at fifteen-years-old.

I went to work when I was twelve—hauling hay and busing tables— and was “self-sufficient” before I became a teen. I moved out and began living with my grandmother at fifteen and was determined to set a different course that would make me happy. I was in search of something better than what I had, but clueless as to what I needed to do.

If someone were to ask me what I was searching for, I could not tell them. Other than I wanted a break, something better, a kinder life. I was determined, disciplined, but had no plan to get out of personal and familial prison. By the time God saved me, I had a wife, two kids, 3.42 acres of land, a double-wide mobile home, a 24 x 24 concrete-floored workshop, a John Deere riding mower and seemingly most anything I wanted.

But I didn’t have a vision; I was living one day at a time. These new things did not bring the peace that I hoped would happen. Maybe I needed to take a risk to be successful, but, again, clueless. Ignorance is not bliss. I tried Amway. That didn’t work. I began selling Aloe Vera, Forever Living Products. That didn’t pan out as well.

Inwardly, I was unhappy. Even though no one was perceptive to my plight. I was secretly frustrated.

Then Came Success

As I remember it, the time was March 1985 when I noticed something coming over me. I was changing inwardly but it was so gradual that I didn’t perceive what was happening. The Lord saved me six months earlier. I was initially disappointed because I couldn’t feel it.

The changes were similar to the growth of a child; you don’t see it happening. And then six months pass, and you see it. I began to experience the “thing” that I had been hoping would happen for so long. It was surprising on two fronts: (1) I didn’t know what I was looking for, and (2) the thing I didn’t realize I was looking for was gradually happening.

For the first time in my life, I was experiencing peace. I was becoming “soul-settled.” It was an incredible experience. I thought “success” meant money or fame. I was wrong. Being successful took an unsuspected turn. Real success is knowing God.

Mercifully, I realized at a relatively young age that what I needed more than anything else was “soul shalom.” I had found it, or it might be more accurate to say that it found me.

He found me.

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About RickThomasNet

Rick Thomas leads a training network for Christians to assist them in becoming more effective soul care providers. RickThomas.Net reaches people around the world through consulting, training, podcasting, writing, counseling, and speaking. In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology, and 1991 he received a BS in Education. In 1993 he was ordained into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s College in Santa Clarita, CA. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).